A message to my 20-year-old self

A message to my 20-year-old self

I’m 30 this year. That is three decades on this planet. I have learned a lot in that time, and can only imagine there is SO much more to learn in the next 30. However, I want to focus on what I have learned in the last decade. I want to put into words some lessons from my 20’s. I’ll bullet out some things that I feel my 20-year-old self would find useful.

1. Think of others and how your choices play out - even when you think your decisions have little-to-no effect on others, every action you take causes a ripple. Your choice to move, travel, study, have a child, or even eat a certain way ALL have an effect on others. Stay true to yourself and make the choices you need to make, however, be aware that all actions touch those around you - do your best to ease transitions, never judge people’s reactions, and help others understand your motives.
2. Be confident. When you feel you lack certain skills and wonder if you really can do something - remember, you are a badass! You can LEARN. You can GROW. YouTube it! Read forums! Ask older and wiser men and women! Someone has gone before and has documented it. Stand on their shoulders and create something even better. Nothing is out of your reach; you have the resources to do and accomplish whatever you want.
3. Love people. When you genuinely listen and love others, you gain so much. There will be pain that comes with it, however. Be ready for that, but never give up on love. Fight for the underdog. There are people that need you - seek them out and do what you can to help. Remember that every person is worthy of your love - give it freely.
4. There really isn’t a “path to success”. You don’t have to buy a house, make a lot of money, drive a cool car, achieve perfect fitness, have a large family. These goals are by no means bad, but don’t define yourself as successful or unsuccessful if you have or don’t have these things. Success instead should be measured by how you use your TIME. Spend your time doing things you want to do. Create. Be with family. Experience the wild.
5. Trust. Trust your partner to always fight for your team. Trust your friends to always be there for you. Trust your vehicle to get you in and out of the wild. Trust your family to always love you, regardless of your bad choices. Trust your body to work well and do hard things. Trust the Lord to give you answers. Trust strangers. Trust handshake deals. Trust wild ideas. Trust maps. Trust your gear to keep you safe. Trust your tires in those tight and loose turns. Trust science and research. And most importantly, trust yourself. Life is more fun when you trust - sure, you’ll get burned here and there, but that’s okay. Continue to give the benefit of the doubt.
6. “Live in the grey” - not very many things are truly black and white. Life is really messy and that is actually great (it’s a feature, not a bug). But when you are tempted to disengage with the process (because oftentimes that path seems easier) - DON’T. Live in the grey and struggle with it. Sometimes ideas or positions that seem to oppose each other or even contradict each other, can in fact exist together. Believe that the fluid and undefined questions of life are worth struggling with. It may be more painful, but believe that it is worth it.
7. There are many paths to TRUTH.
8. What is your passion? Find a way to make money pursuing that passion. There is always a way to take what you love doing, and monetize it. It might be rough at first, but if you keep working at it, eventually you will get there and that struggle will be worth it.
9. Surround yourself with positive people. There really isn’t space in your life with people that are constantly negative, that are always complaining, and that bring bad vibes. Love everyone, but seek out people that have a passion for life and that are doing fun things.
10. Be your true self. Don’t feel weird about admitting the kind of music you love. Don’t be ashamed of your religious beliefs. Share your feelings; it is okay to cry. Get vulnerable. You can be a hardcore mountain man AND love musicals AND be an animal-loving vegan AND think video games and doritos are cool AND have a mullet, mustache, or purple hair AND be in touch with your “feminine side”. There isn’t one stereotype that you have to fit - you don’t have to be just one thing. In fact, you’re boring and one-dimensional if you only have one thing that defines you. With all of this - don’t take yourself too seriously. Not many people are actually watching - and if they are, they probably need you to be an example of how to loosen up and be real.

A chance to share testimony

Okay, so this one will be quick.  I have just realized that I don't have very many places to bear testimony of the Savior. Church isn't a thing anymore, we aren't hanging out with groups of people, haven't really seen my family much, and it isn't super normal/natural to just dive into testimony time... yada yada yada... all kinds of excuses, right?

BUT, I think because of that, because I haven't vocalized it in a while, because I haven't really said it out loud, I'm at risk of forgetting it.

So here we are. I want to share with you guys my testimony of Jesus Christ.

I'm not perfect. FAR far from it. My list of shortcomings, no matter how hard I seem to work on them and try to curb them, seems to ALWAYS be longer than my list of strengths. I have doubts. I have fears. I have a hard time following direction. I am lazy. I am impatient. My priorities are frequently out of whack. I'm often clueless when it comes to others and their needs. It's frustrating.

However, I count myself lucky that one of my strengths is my faith in our Lord Jesus Christ. I know that through Him, that stupid list of crap I need to work on, CAN SOMEDAY be finally eliminated. That because of what He did, I can repent of all the dumb things I do.

And not only that, all of the unfair pieces of this life... all of the poverty, all of the sickness, all of the imperfections of government, all of the wars, all of the systematic failures of our human institutions... it will all be fair through the Atonement. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed about that... I feel guilty that my "luckiness" has brought me to a point of relative stability and comfort... while others will never see that. And I get sad. BUT, when remember that there IS a plan for it all, I find relief. It isn't the easiest answer because I am a man of the moment - I wan't it and I want it NOW.  I want things to be fair NOW.  BUT, it will be fair in the end... whenever that is. That doesn't mean we don't do everything we can right now to better our fellow human being's situation and alleviate suffering (just like we try our hardest to stop sinning, even though we know we can always repent and use an infinite atonement) - but it does give me peace when I feel like my efforts don't seem to make much of an impact.

I am grateful for the Savior. I have a testimony of the efficacy of the Atonement. It works. It is real. There is room there for everyone. I will continue to drink deeply from the well and rely on this incredible gift. What a blessing!