So Sunday school sparked a very interesting question today. It's one I have struggled with my whole life.
We talked about different Old Testament stories... Daniel and the lions den, Shadrak, Meshak, and Abed'nego and the furnace, and Esther.
Daniel was not going to stop praying to the Lord because of Darius' decree. This differentiated him as a believer.
HOWEVER, Daniel was also there with Shadrak, Meshak, and Abed'nego, BUT, he was not thrown in to the fire? WHY? Was he going along with the idol worship? Was he doing his best to assimilate, while waiting for an opportunity to teach and differentiate himself as a believer later? Curious. His friends got tossed into the fire because of their belief and desire to differentiate themselves as believers.
Ester never really followed traditions of the Jews. She prepared banquets in the "Syrian style", she lived in the palace with the king who had NO IDEA that she was a Jew. She actually hid the fact that she was Jewish! That doesn't sound like differentiation of faith at all! But later in life, she was in a position to really help out he people, because of the way she was able to assimilate into the Syrian way of life. Interesting.
All of these people were in a different position on this Sliding Guide of Differentiation and Assimilation.
Some may say that this is a terrible example. You may be right. Weed is never good... BUT, there must be a way we can, and should, go about "shutting someone's offer down"...
But really, where is the boundary? How can I be that "example of righteousness" and still be "normal" or "cool"... that is the struggle. As members of Christ's church, I think we have a responsibility to make being faithful look cool.
Here is a real life experience I had on my mission. I think that it applies a little better than the weed:
My companion and I met a wonderful Armenian man on the street. He was out with his young son and daughter. His Russian was not great. He invited us over to his house the next day. We showed up to a VERY poor apartment. There were 3 generations all in a two bedroom home.
My companion and I sat down and started the normal chit chat. After a few minutes, this man's wife came out with very small cups of coffee. It was made very 'fancily' and you could tell she was VERY excited to share with us. They said, "we have this special Armenian coffee that we have been saving for the right occasion."
This kind of thing happened all the time in Russia. We got offered tea, coffee, and vodka almost on a daily basis. But this time was different. There was a serious amount of love in this gift. It was very different. I have never had a hard time with dealing with questions concerning the word of wisdom. It just hasn't been a challenge for me. But in the moment, I felt like I should drink this coffee.
But, what did we do? As 'good missionaries' do, we declined as politely as we could. We didn't drink the coffee and rejected the gift.
And I am telling you, immediately after we declined, and to this day, I wish I would have just drank that coffee.
The lessson pushed forward... But the vibe, and the spirit, of the lesson was just different. Long story short, we never got into that apartment again.
Now, I'm not saying that if we would have drank that coffee that they would have taken more lessons and been baptized, but, I am saying, that even though we 'did the right thing' I honestly feel that I was a bad representative of my religion.
Questions I thought outside of class:
- did something so strong like supporting Prop 8 so vigorously in California do more damage than good? Was it too far on the differentiation side of the scale?
- is my lack of a 'clean cut' appearance too far on the assimilate side of the scale? Should I try and differentiate myself as a disciple of Christ by being cleaner?
- is it okay to go for a bike ride on Sunday with a non-member friend who can only ride on that day? Is it worth the 'sabbath day violation' to build a friendship that can later help create missionary opportunities?
- when is it okay to just 'lead by example' or, on the other hand, when should I 'get bold' and share a pass along card or a BOM? Is one or the other too far on one side of the scale?
I think that these questions can give us the answer - it is completely situational.
Our Sunday school teacher brought up a really cool example of how he, in grad school, got invited to a hockey game on Sunday by a close friend. This was a pretty big deal, because hockey was his friend's life. He was WAY into following the local team. Long story short, our Sunday school teacher said he thought he would be a good missionary and tell his friend that he doesn't go to sporting events on Sunday. His friend was offended and their friendship dwindled. He has regretted that decision ever since. He wished he could have seen how attending a game on Sunday could have sprung their relationship into something much more meaningful, and later he could help his friend understand his views on Sabbath day observance.
I really liked that story.
But hold on, this is kind of a dangerous principle to talk about. This is why we never really hear about it in young men or young women's. I think that if we let it, we can justify behavior that is NOT OKAY.
I am not worried about you guys doing that... Except for maybe Zach, he is from Ballerado and all anybody ever does there is smoke weed.
But, like in all things, we can look to the Savior to see what we should do.
Mark 2:16
And when the scribes and Pharisees saw him eat with publicans and sinners, they said unto his disciples, How is it that he eateth and drinketh with publicans and sinners?
What was Jesus doing hanging out with the publicans and sinners?! They are bad! They are evil!
WRONG.
They are people. Christ loved them. Christ "broke" the Sabbath to heal them.
It's the classic, "love the sinner, hate the sin". BUT, I think that it goes further than that. I think we need to be able to balance how we appear to the world. Mormons often come across as very self righteous. People do not respond well to self righteousness. We need to figure out how to reign that in and balance how we strive to differentiate ourselves. At the same time we must assimilate to be in a position to do missionary work and teach others of the joy of the gospel.
I hope that this post makes sense and that you all don't think I am looking for an excuse to go drink coffee, smoke weed, and skip all my Sunday responsibilities.
Let's make 'being faithful' look cool.
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