Hey team!
This is a paper I wrote while in Jerusalem. I hope you like it.

Christmas rolled around Ellensburg Washington at the same time of year that it did for everyone else. It was bitter cold; the temperature rarely went into the double digits. I was a brand new missionary, enjoying the festive season and the kindness that was being poured upon me by members in the ward. I wasn’t homesick but I knew that my mother missed me dearly. I decided to take great care to make my phone call home meaningful and comforting.

Each Christmas eve, my family would gather around candles and read aloud the Christmas story. Our tiny living room in Manhattan would become a grotto as candlelight danced across the window onto the busy street. Dad’s mood would determine how many verses were to be recited. Not wanting to miss this tradition, I requested and received permission from my Mission President to call home on Christmas Eve. I thought it would be a nice gesture to my mother.

I lit a small candle on my desk, stationed in the corner of a cold basement in a rickety old farmhouse and read along over the phone. Dad decided that this year, we would read Luke 2 in its entirety. I took my turn to read aloud verse 49. Though written two thousand years ago, the words became mine. “Wist ye not that I must be about my Father’s business?” Time seemed to stand still. My mother was comforted and knew that I was doing a great work. Like Jesus, she knew I had to leave everything behind, including family and friends to serve a higher purpose. My gratitude to the Lord was immense for he had comforted my Mother and taught me a valuable lesson.

Reflecting on the story, Christ’s desertion to the temple seems counterintuitive. It would not have been any trouble to inform Joseph and Mary of his decision to study in the temple. How could he worry his parents so desperately? I do not have a perfect answer to this question but I can take a stab at it. Mont Poulsen provided a powerful insight in the July 2011 Ensign. Brother Poulsen points out that many of the good things, like children and marriage, when done in the wrong order is a “disaster.” “Satan deceives us by convincing us to do the right thing in the wrong order.” The Savior taught on many occasions that the greatest commandments, and thus the ones Satan is most interested in, is to love God and our neighbors (Luke 10:27). The consequences of incorrectly prioritizing these two commandments are dire.

            It is easy to justify our sins by prioritizing people over God. I cannot number the dumb things done by missionaries in my mission in the name of companion, district or zone unity. It is vital that we consider the feelings of others and the impact our decisions will make, but we must first consider what God thinks of our decisions, then how it will affect other people. Elder Holland in October 2012 General Conference taught, “the crowning characteristic of love is always loyalty.”  

            The Savior wants us to be loyal to and love all men equally. The importance of this principle is evident its status as the second greatest commandment in the universe. Yet we often make it the greatest commandment when our loyalty to our brothers and sisters supersedes our loyalty to God. Christ’s love of his Father drew him to the temple as he left behind his friends and family and I can attest to the blessings of loving God more than man. As I read the scriptures with, but far from, my family those years ago in a hick town in the middle of nowhere, I could feel the encircling arms of a God who was blessing us for loving him more than each other. 

My Bearrie Brothers,

We love each other. but we must love God even more. 

In God We Trust

AllllllRiiiigght there friends. Its been a while since I've done my duty to the blog. I'm ready to start recommitting now though. First things first, the wedding was sick! The Bearrie boys represented hard and brought an awesome party. Thanks for getting everybody pumped and laying down a killer rap. I was so jealous that I didn't have a verse in that. But it was also just sick and I was stoked to be there.

I'm sitting in class at one of my first days in med skool right now. Its orientation week and some of these presentations get a little boring so I decided it was time to write a real quick devo up on here. I've felt very grateful lately for a couple big blessings that have come into my life lately. A couple big changes have occurred in my life lately including moving to Colorado, getting married, and starting a new school. Everything really came together kind of at the last minute. 8 months ago I really had no idea what I was doing. I was working really hard in school but I didn't have any guarantee that that work would actually get me where I wanted to go. That was kind of stressful. I also knew that if I did get into med school on this application cycle I would be leaving Utah and BYU very quickly and moving to a very liberal, non-Mormon state. This was scary for a couple reasons but mostly because I was a single dude who wasn't dating anyone and didn't have anything serious on the radar. I knew that both my time and my options to date would be very limited in med school and I was a little bit worried that I was condemning myself to a life of celibacy. Once I got into school I started worrying more about this doubting that I had spent the majority of my undergrad in the library and had not allocated enough time to dating.

I share that only because I know that all of us have had similar doubts and worries in our lives about either the same topics or totally different ones. Sometimes life requires us to go out on faith, not knowing whats ahead. As Paul said,

"For we walk by faith, not by sight" (2 Cor. 5:7).

Giving us hope in these times the Lord says, "Be thou humble; and the Lord thy God shall lead thee by the hand, and give thee answer to thy prayers" (D&C 112:10); and again in Proverbs it is written, 

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight" (Proverbs 3:5-6). 

I just want to bear testimony today that things work out in life. I have seen that in my own life. Sometimes it takes a while and our prayers and hopes in life are not answered in exactly the way we hope or in the time frame that we want; but I know that if we strive to love Him and serve Him and trust in Him patiently when we're not sure whats going, things will eventually work out. He loves us and He knows what we need in life to be truly happy. Lets trust that the Lord will take care of us and will bless us as we serve Him. 

"Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him" (1 Cor. 2:9).

I want to say that of all my blessings I am most grateful to have my wife. She is an incredible lady that helps me a lot. Having her is totally worth any frustration experienced in dating and the continual, daily struggle to resist temptation and work to be a better man. I know that these things are true. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Are You Tough Enough?

One of my flaws as a writer (as I have been reminded multiple times by most of my psychology professors) is that I am too long-winded. So I am going to do my best to give you a concise powerful devo that includes all of my thoughts. But I might fail. Deal with it.

I was talking with Brother Bearrie Cees last night as he came by to check on me in my fragile state/eat all my ice cream when we got started on a topic that inspired this Bearrie Devo. Every single one of us has some really hard stuff that we have to deal with in this life. We are all dealt our individual burdens that no one else can carry for us or even fully understand. They are ours to face and work through as we live this life. And we know this a purposeful aspect in the grand design of the Plan of Salvation. We are told in 1st Nephi that we will be given difficult tasks and heavy loads, but that Heavenly Father will never give us more than we can handle. But sometimes it feels like maybe Heavenly Father made a mistake and gave us way too much. Sometimes it feels like it's impossible to push through...

At one point in my life I was really struggling with a lot of circumstances and trials that had come into my life through no fault of my own. They were not due to my mistakes or sins and it felt entirely unfair. I met with my Bishop about it and after I told him everything, he literally looked me in the face and said, "Billy, your situation is a real bitch." I was in shock. My Bishop just swore at me. But I really appreciated that he didn't try to act like my situation was fair. Because it wasn't. But he followed up that charming sentiment with this, "Billy, this situation isn't going to resolve itself and you're going to deal with it for most of your life. I can't fix that. All I can ask you is: Are you tough enough?" That question stuck. I have thought about it ever since. Am I tough enough? I am going to have to face hard things throughout life that will question my testimony, faith, hope, and endurance. I can't quit and turn around when things get hard. I need to keep pushing through no matter how unfair it is. I HAVE to be tough enough. Because I want to reach the prize at the end. The prize we are all working toward: eternal happiness and salvation with those that we love.

So, my brother and sister Bearries, I know life sucks sometimes. And I know sometimes it's our fault and sometimes it isn't. I know some of you are struggling to find someone to love and be with, some of you are moving to foreign new places and taking on huge scary challenges, I know some of you have experienced sickness and death of loved ones, and I know some of you have experienced doubts in regards to your testimony and the Church. And then I know there are hundreds of trials you all deal with that I'll never know about. But I just wanted to ask all of you: Are you tough enough? Search, ponder, and pray on that question until you can confidently answer, "Yes." Because I know you all are. Be a Bearrie. Be tough. And never forget the prize we are all working toward and the ultimate happiness we will receive. Love you all.

Three paragraphs. Not bad.

Do Nice Things

Here is a cool video that just so happens to be in Thailand (yay Madison).  Let us try and do nice things.

Righteousness - what does that really mean, anyways?

FIRST OF ALL - some Bearrie BISNUS!

We have a Bearrie getting married this week!!! YEAH BOY!  Ol' Ceviche himself, tying the knot!  

All I have to say about that is - "A bird in the hand is better than two in the bush!" Right?!  

Oh man... I am pumped!  Get ready to dance your brains out in Jackson Hole!  By they way, we should start coordinating rides and what not... Zach, be sure to let us know where we are needed!  Give us some assignments - we are willing!

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With the passing of my father-in-law I have been thinking a lot on the question of "What is next?"  

What comes after this life?  What can we expect after we die?

I was reminded of a scripture that I was directed to when my Grandma Hofman died:

ALMA 40:12
And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow.

Obviously the big word here is RIGHTEOUS.  What does that mean, really?

So, I did what I do whenever I have a question - I Googled it.  I searched "What does righteous really mean LDS".  There were a few results; I clicked on the Encyclopedia of Mormonism (apparently it is in the BYU library... I had no idea of its existence before this search... isn't Google cool?  Thanks Franklin, for making Google.)

Here is what the Encyclopedia of Mormonism had to say on the matter:

Righteousness is ultimately synonymous with holiness or godliness. Christ himself is known as "the Righteous" (Moses 7:45, 47) and as "the Son of Righteousness" (3 Ne. 25:2). His "ways are righteousness forever" (2 Ne. 1:19).

The state of righteousness is available to mankind through the redemption of Christ as one is born of God: "Marvel not that all mankind, yea, men and women…must be born again; yea, born of God, changed from their carnal and fallen state, to a state of righteousness, being redeemed of God, becoming his sons and daughters" (Mosiah 27:25).

The terms "righteous" and "righteousness" also apply to mortals who, though beset with weaknesses and frailties, are seeking to come unto Christ. In this sense, righteousness is not synonymous with perfection. It is a condition in which a person is moving toward the Lord, yearning for godliness, continuously repenting of sins, and striving honestly to know and love God and to follow the principles and ordinances of the gospel. Saints of God are urged to do "the works of righteousness" (D&C 59:23) and to "bring to pass much righteousness" (D&C 58:27).

Here is the link for anyone who wants to read the whole article (I really recommend it) - http://eom.byu.edu/index.php/Righteousness

So, now my question was "Do I consider myself righteous?"

This question, I didn't Google.  I just thought about it a little. 

And so far, I have come to the conclusion, that, I think most people are trying to be righteous.  I think most people WANT to be good... they WANT to be the best version of themselves that they can.  I think most people "strive for godliness"... maybe they don't call it "godliness", but we are all trying to get better, right?  And therefore, I believe that the number of people that end up in the "righteous/state of happiness" crowd after this life, is larger than we tend to think.  I know that God's ultimate talent is "seeing the good in us".  He sees good in us even when we may not see it ourselves.  He loves us.  He will do ANYTHING for us.

Alone, I fall short of righteousness... WAY short.  It's not even funny to think about.  But I KNOW that with the Savior, I can make it.  I can clear that mark.  I will keep trying.  I will keep doing my best.  And I will keep repenting when I need to.

I love you all... my righteous brothers.

There Is No Condemnation To Them Which Are In Christ Jesus

So, for a while now, whenever I am in the car I tune the radio to 95.3 - the preacher radio.  Jay and I were driving back from Payson tonight, and a really cool story came on.  And I know there is NO WAY, that I will be able to relay the story as well as this preacher did.  Man, he was good.  But I will do my best to communicate the important parts.

This pastor's friend told him about a dream that he had recently:

In the dream, this guy was in a LONG line of people.  I mean, we are talking hundreds of thousands... maybe millions!  He had this placard around his neck that had all of the sins that he had ever committed in his life written on it.  Every bad thought, every bad thing, every bad word he ever said... it was ALL there.  And as he got closer to the end of the line, he could see that there was an angel that was removing the placard from around the persons neck, and then reading it for ALL OF HEAVEN to hear!!!  

The guy started to panic.  I mean, his grandma was over there... his mom was just behind him... and they were all going to hear all of the terrible things he had done!  He kept getting closer and closer to the front of the line.

And then, Jesus came up from behind him.  Jesus grabbed his placard and started reading it.  He wanted to take it back and said, "Oh please, don't read that.  Your eyes are too pure to read these things I have done."  Jesus just pushed his hand away and kept reading.  And then, after He read them all, He took the placard that hung around His neck, and put it on the man; he took the man's sin covered placard and hung it on his own neck.

As the man approached the angel, he looked up and saw that God the Father was there next to the angel as well.  When it was his turn, God said to the angel, "take his placard and read it for everyone to hear."  When the angel removed his placard he declared, "He is clean!  He has NO SIN!"

This dream provides a really cool principle that is highlighted in Romans 8:1

There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus.

We can all be clean.  We can all rest assured that with Jesus, when it is our turn to stand in front of God and all of Heaven, we can be clean.

I know this is true.  I know that the Atonement is real and I am SO grateful for it.

A bit on Prayer - with D. Todd

What up, LADIES?

So - I will make this quick... Jay and I have already passed this around to each other, but I figured the rest of the Bearrie Brotherhood could benefit as well.

I am assuming that you guys get the emails from lds.org.  IF NOT, you should sign up for sure.  It will bless your life.

If you do get them, you probably read the latest from D. Todd on prayer.  Here is the link -

https://www.lds.org/prophets-and-apostles/unto-all-the-world/answers-to-four-questions-about-prayer?lang=eng&cid=email_inspiration-and-news_6-2015_header1

For those of you who want the power statements, I have copied what I felt to be the best part of each of the questions about prayer he included in his article.

How can I make daily prayer more meaningful?

"Everything we do ought to be done with an eye toward our Heavenly Father’s blessing and consecrating to our good all of our activities in a given day. So if we sense our need and think about it, prayer becomes more meaningful."
If we LIVE our prayers, it will be more meaningful.  As we go about the day, keep a dialog with God.  The little chats in your head don't have to be with just yourself... invite God.

How do you have the Spirit with you when you pray?

"If we’re just praying for what wewant and we don’t want to know His will, it won’t be the same feeling or have the same meaning."

If we don't really care what he thinks... why the heck do we ask??  If we are trying to pray so hard that we get the answer that we want, the spirit won't be there.  And it may end up with Him yielding or surrendering to us... kind of a "Okay, go for it - and you will see!"  I mean, look what happened to Martin Harris!  Poor guy.

How often should we pray?

"We may be thanking Him for blessings received, we may be repenting of a few things that happened that were not right, and then there are all the prayers in between. It just becomes part of a stream of prayers. It’s all part of a pattern, and that goes on day in and day out and week after week and through the years. That’s what it means to have your heart drawn out in prayer to Him."

Again - it is the CONSTANT prayer that God asks of us.  None of this "time of crisis" crap... can you imagine a friend coming to you only when he/she needed your help to bail them out of some trouble they caused for themselves?  That's a bad friend.  (That being said, don't be afraid to pray in the "Damn, we're in a tight spot!" moment.)  Pray ALWAYS.  (Refer to the Repent Fast post if the swearing bothers you)

What if we don’t get an answer to our prayers when we want it or need it?

"We ought to remember we don’t dictate to God the timing of His answers to us and the content of what comes in response to our prayers."

Wait your turn, boy!  We are not the ones to tell God when we should get answers.  We don't say when and where.  Beggars can't be choosers.  That being said, He could not want to help us more.  He is not "holding back answers" to cause us trouble, or pain, or heartache.  He, in His ultimate wisdom, will give us the answers when we are ready, and when we need them.  I know this is true.

All in all, I know that prayer is real.  I know that it is a way for us to communicate with God.  He is real.  He listens.  He is very much so aware of us.  I am always trying to work on how I communicate with Him.  And boy, am I grateful for apostles that help me understand how to do it better.  What a blessing.